Your big day is just around the corner. Everything is all set and done. You are just waiting for the day to come. But, for some reason, you don’t feel too excited to starting your married life with your partner.
Marriage is never a decision that you just make out of the blue. It takes careful thought and planning and sometimes, even years of consideration.
If you are having sleepless nights trying to think of things that may change after marriage or if you are having second thoughts about marrying your partner, there is really no need to worry. This is because it is actually normal.
In fact, many people go through the so-called pre-wedding jitters. Yes, it is a very natural process to feel anxious about your upcoming wedding. However, relationship experts and psychologists feel that even if it is an expected process to experience pre-wedding jitters since you are not sure about what the future holds, it is extremely essential that you address them accordingly. You also have to make sure that you don’t feel the same way for a very long time.
Here are tips on what to do if you are not looking forward to the married life together with some helpful ways on how to deal with your doubts.
Identifying Signs of Doubts and Uncertainties with Your Marriage
Mood swings are probably the first signs that someone is undergoing pre-wedding hitters. People will feel extremely sad one moment then extremely happy the next minute. This often happens because in their subconscious, they are worried about how their lives will be after marriage. They will become very moody and irritable.
Someone who feels unsure an anxious about the upcoming wedding may also try to look for escape routes just to get away from the wedding. Things such as dating someone else and searching for a new job somewhere else are signs that someone is going through wedding jitters.
One more sign that a person is nervous about the wedding is once they start to ignore their partner. They will end up ignoring their messages or calls and think of excuses why they cannot respond.
Now that you know the signs that you are not really looking forward to starting a married life, here are a few helpful ways on how to tackle this issue.
Start with Acceptance
The very first and most important to deal with anxiety and uncertainty is to not to try to suppress or dismiss it off and simply accept whatever your feelings might be. Just accept that you feel confused and nervous and identify the reasons behind such emotions.
Turn to Trusted and Trustworthy People
The people closest to you will surely be more than willing to listen to your thoughts about getting married. It doesn’t matter if you are afraid of being hitched or you just feel stressed out about your wedding details and arrangements and how things may go wrong. You can always boost your confidence if you turn to you most trusted relatives and friends.
Don’t hesitate to discuss all the nitty-gritty. People who truly care for you will be able to give you all the most comforting words you need and want to hear to ease your pre-wedding jitters and calm down your frazzled nerves.
Reach Out and Communicate
Communicating issues should always be the number one priority of all couples. Once you start to feel jittery, anxious, or unsure about your wedding, sit down and talk with your partner about the issues bothering you and try solving them.
Most of the time, people have the tendency to worry about the changes that may happen in their lives after marriage. Instead of talking about what ifs, talk about the things that you can do together after your marriage. Don’t be afraid to share what you feel with your partner and clearly express what it is that you want in the first place.
Don’t Heed the Advice of Self-Proclaimed “Experts”
While it may appear well-meaning, most of the so-called relationship “gurus” or “experts” may end up doing more harm than good when you seek them out right before your big day.
Your close relatives and friends will always be the best people you can turn to when in doubt instead of those pros who can only give you impersonal advice without even knowing the history of your relationship.
Keep Yourself Busy
Try to keep yourself busy until your wedding instead of pondering about things around the marriage itself. You can play new sports or hit the gym. What you should do here is to keep busy yourself with something so that your mind won’t be lingering on the wedding and your married life afterwards.
Enjoy Some Me-Time
When it feels like getting married is not for you, book a relaxing appointment to your favorite spa for a pampering massage or drop by at the salon for a mani-pedi session. You can also watch your favorite movie then enjoy a sumptuous dinner afterwards. You can even just spend leisurely time at the local park, sitting down and doing nothing stressful.
Finding time to relax is the best talisman against all kinds of pre-wedding jitters. When your mind is starting to be filled with doubts, you will be able to overcome your worries with simple acts of recalling meaningful memories and appreciating beautiful experiences.
Nurture a Positive State of Mind
It is quite common to experience cold feet before getting married. After all, you will be moving to a new house and leaving your comfort zone. To avoid those jitters, see to it that you maintain a positive frame of mind.
Always remind yourself that you are lucky to get married to the person you love. Sleep right, stick to a balanced lifestyle, and eat healthy. By having a positive outlook, you will soon find yourself free of all those worries.
At the end of the day, no one can tell what your future has in store for you. Instead of worrying about how life will be after your marriage, just enjoy the ride and be ready to embrace everything that will come your way, good and bad alike.