It was reported that the word “bridezilla” was first coined way back in the mid-1990s to refer to soon-to-be-brides who turned into monsters during wedding planning, throwing tantrums when they didn’t get their way, and having preposterous demands on their family and friends.
However, for the past few years, this derogatory term referencing Godzilla, the giant mutant creature like a dinosaur that goes around on crazed killing sprees, has already become synonymous with the word “bride” that encompasses almost difficult to avoid behaviors.
Top Reasons Why Brides Become Bridezillas
Brides who are in charge of wedding planning may soon find themselves right in the midst of pressures coming from different directions.
The feminist ideality wrapped up in the conventional bridal role, including sweetness, submissiveness, and innocence, don’t really suit the demands of being an excellent wedding planner.
To successfully navigate the oftentimes cruel wedding industry, it is essential to be assertive, have tough skills in negotiation, and an ability of reaching decisions that not everyone may like. This kind of behaviors that often veer off the usual feminine ideal may soon lead to the stereotyped bridezillas. Brides might find themselves torn between the urge to voice their opinions on crucial concerns like wedding budget and looking pleasantly agreeable at the same time.
Nature of Being a Woman
Being in this double bind, women who express their emotions such as anger tend to be seen in a more negative way than men because such emotions don’t keep up with feminine norms. Men who are angry were usually considered as more competent and were given higher workplace status compared to angry women. Also, anger that a woman expresses will most likely be considered as a reflection of the angry nature of the woman instead of as a reaction to external circumstances that elicit anger.
As far as wedding planning is concerned, there are times when anger may be an appropriate or even understandable response to an unfair treatment, such as when a wedding vendor breaks off a contract all of a sudden. However, this is an easy and surefire way of being labeled as a bridezilla who might not be taken seriously.
It is not easy to avoid being labeled as a bridezilla. After all, the wedding planning process not just elicits or demands the qualities of a bridezilla at times as it can also get quite stressful. As expected, no one can be at best if you are under a lot of stress in the first place.
Once in A Lifetime Event
For starters, weddings are not cheap and most couples go beyond their budget or sometimes, even incur debts along the way. Due to this significant expense, it only makes sense that you want to ensure that everything goes right.
Aside from the stress involved with spending a substantial amount of cash together with the expectations that come with it, weddings can also bring up tons of family-related stress. The families of the bride and groom may have quite conflicting visions for the things they want and don’t want to happen during the wedding, depending on their personal values, preferences, religious beliefs, or sometimes, even political orientations. Disagreements may also happen within the family and the couple themselves may not agree on many things as well. Working through such hurdles and learning how to compromise may be beneficial for the relationships down the road. However, these things might not be quite unsettling in the present moment.
Gossips From Relatives
Aside from family and financial conflicts, probably the most difficult area of wedding planning and most likely the common reason behind bridezilla moments has something to do with the pressure of looking flawless and being a stunning and gorgeous bride on her big day.
This kind of pressure may make brides-to-be end up starving themselves for months prior to the wedding just so they can fit into their gowns. Others spend dollars and long hours on makeup and hair services and products. Most of them just feel chronically dissatisfied and discontented with their physical appearance.
How to Avoid Becoming a Bridezilla
Now that you know the common reasons why brides become bridezillas, here are a few tips to ensure that you don’t become one.
Be Firm without Being Irrational
There is nothing wrong with voicing your opinions and wanting things to be this or that. It is your big day, anyway. Brides are usually labeled as bridezillas if their requests sound like demands and they throw tantrums. It would be great to be reasonable and respectful in cases like this. As the old saying goes, be sure to treat others the way you want them to treat you.
Focus on Things that Truly Matter
It may sound easier said than done yet avoid sweating the small stuff for your event to be truly memorable. As long as you focus on tying the knot with the one you love with your closest family and friends around you, the trivial things will be pushed to the side and nothing else will matter.
Always Give Yourself a Break
Schedule time to relax and rejuvenate every time you feel overwhelmed. Walk in nature, enjoy a pampering massage, take a long bath, practice yoga, meditate, or do things that can calm your nerves. Taking breaks to find the old you before the planning process begins can help you find your focus so you can stay right on track.
Enjoy the Ride
You feel lots of pressure to make your wedding as beautiful as possible. While there are things that might not work out exactly as you have imagined, it doesn’t mean that your big day will be less than perfect. Putting things into perspective and looking at things in a different way can help you get the best out of anything that may come your way.
Take Deep Breaths
Trying to juggle several responsibilities may spread you thin that just a small request may set you off in a snap of a finger. Once you start feeling that your blood will boil over soon, take several deep breaths before you speak out.
You don’t have to be a bridezilla. You can just be a beautiful and gorgeous bride!