We all love our spouses, children, or parents unconditionally. Do we try to love ourselves unconditionally?
Do you do any of these below:
Criticize your body.
Feel like you need to improve at things.
Feel guilty about things you do.
Feel undisciplined, lazy, unhappy with yourself.
Not feel good enough.
Fear that you’re going to fail, because you’re not good enough.
See yourself as not that good looking.
Feel bad about messing up.
There is an underlying feeling in many of us of not being good enough. Always wanting to be better. wants to be in better shape or better at things. It is always there in the background.
You are perfectly OK.
What if we applied unconditional acceptance of who we are? What if we took a good look at ourselves, our body, our thoughts, our feelings, our actions and say you are perfectly ok.
But what is wrong with wanting to improve, with seeing things that need to be improved?
Yes, it can be a motivator. But feeling bad about yourself can also be an obstacle. For example, people who feel that they are fat are more likely to eat poorly and not exercise because they see themselves as fat. They are likely to feel bad about themselves and to comfort themselves with food, alcohol, cigarettes, TV, Internet addictions.
What if instead, you loved yourself, fat body and all? What if you loved yourself, laziness and all? What if you loved yourself, all that is ugly and incompetent and mean, along with the beauty and brilliance and kindness?
The person who loves herself/himself is more likely to take actions that are loving. Doing some mindful yoga, or taking a walk with a friend after work, eating delicious healthy food like beans and veggies and nuts and berries and mangos and avocados, meditating, drinking some green tea … these are loving actions.
Acceptance is not stagnation — you will change no matter what. You can’t avoid changing. The question is whether that change comes from a place of acceptance and love, or a place of self-dislike and dissatisfaction. I vote for unconditional love.